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What driver doesn't have a license?
A screwdriver.
What has a neck, but no head?
A bottle.
Why did the doctor switch jobs?
He lost his patience (patients!).
What did one wall say to the other?
Meet you at the corner.
What kind of table has no legs?
The multiplication table.
What do people make that cannot be seen?
Noise.
What is it that gets wetter when it dries?
A towel.
What gets harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A Blackboard.
What goes up and down without moving?
The Stairs.
What goes up and never comes down?
Smoke/Age.
What is in the middle of nowhere?
The letter “H”.
What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
Fire.
What has to be broken before it can be used?
An Egg.
What is always before you, yet you can never see it?
Your Future.
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour?
The letter “M”.
What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles (There a mile between the first and last letter).
What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom.
What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it?
A Teapot.
What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?
A Stamp.
What turns everything around but does not move?
Mirror.
What's the difference between here and there?
The Letter “T”.
Who can shave twenty-five times a day and still have a beard?
A Barber.
You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
Telephone.
You can't keep this until you have given it?
A Promise.
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